Divorcee dads fight for their children’s rights

Divorcee dads fight for their children’s rights

TNN | Mar 24, 2014, 04.26 AM IST

PANAJI: Looking to protect children stuck in the crossfire of messy divorces, Bangalore-based Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) has opened a branch in Goa. The NGO is largely managed by injured divorcee-fathers who have been denied custody of their children, and in a strange twist are waging war on the 'patriarchal mindset' of the Indian legal system that considers fathers incapable of nurturing children. 

Having fought a long-drawn out custody battle for his daughter, especially one that was in the media spotlight because his ex-wife had married a cricketer ; the founder of CRISP, Bangalorean stockbroker Kumar Jahgirdar had a front seat view of the damage inflicted on the child's sense of security, her psychological and emotional well-being by sparring parents. 

"When a marriage ends badly, the two partners tend to use the legal system to hurt each other and stroke their own egos. The child's needs lose precedence; the child is first used as leverage and then ends up as spoils of war—in the process, witnessing such malevolence in his/her formative years," says Kumar. 

He also complains of the glaring gender-bias displayed by Indian courts in favour of mothers. "While CRISP is gender-neutral, with quite a few female members as well, one has to admit that fathers get the raw deal in custody agreements. If the father is unmarried, the court complains that there is no female member to care for the child. If the father re-marries, they deny custody on grounds that the child would not be treated well by the stepmother," he says, speaking from his own experience. 

"There is urgent need for a special commission, led by a panel of experts like child psychologists and activists to step in, counsel the parents and convince them to share custody of the children, even before they apply for divorce. This will also help avoid parental abduction, where the custodial parent takes the child to another country without the permission of the other—a problem rampant in Goa," adds realtor Remiz Cardoz, who heads the Goa chapter of CRISP. 

The NGO has 30,000 members across its five other branches in India, who lurk around family courts to guide divorcing partners, conduct awareness meetings for the legal community, and generally provide support to non-custodial parents and their families. They also offer a network of psychiatrists and lawyers who work pro-bono to help parents in these situations. 

"We are getting even more aggressive with our campaign ahead of the elections, to send out a strong message to all parents: Only vote for the party that guarantees protection of children's rights in their manifesto. Even though children account for 40% of India's population, no political party is interested in taking up their problems because they are not a vote bank," says Kumar, who is pushing for a separate Union ministry for children. "Children's rights are completely different from women's rights and it does not make sense that they are clubbed together," he adds.

Indian courts can decide NRI couples' matrimonial and guardianship rows: SC

Indian courts can decide NRI couples' matrimonial and guardianship rows: SC

16 may 2011

New Delhi Indian courts have jurisdiction to deal with custodial disputes of minor children even if a foreign court has passed an order in favour of either of the parents, the Supreme Court has ruled in a matrimonial dispute of an NRI family.

A bench of justices V S Sirpurkar and T S Thakur said in a judgement said that simply because a foreign court has passed an order, Indian courts cannot "abjectly surrender" to it and shirk its duty of deciding the dispute.

"Simply because a foreign court has taken a particular view on any aspect concerning the welfare of the minor is not enough for the courts in this country to shut out an independent consideration of the matter. Objectivity, and not abject surrender, is the mantra in such cases," Justice Thakur, writing the judgement, said.

The apex court passed the judgement while upholding an appeal filed by Ruchi Majoo challenging a Delhi High Court judgement that Indian courts have no jurisdiction under the doctrine of "comity of courts" to entertain any petition if a decree or order has already been passed by any foreign court.

A superior court in California had issued a red corner notice against Ruchi in a suit filed by her estranged US-based husband Sanjeev Majoo who had alleged his wife had fled with their minor son to India despite a decree by the US court granting him custody of the child.

The couple were living with the kid in the US before she returned to India in 2008. A Delhi court had on Ruchi's application granted her custody of the child under the Guardians and Wards Act.

The Delhi High Court had, however, struck down the trial court's order and asked the couple to submit themselves to the Californian court as all the three possessed US citizenship.

Aggrieved, the wife appealed through her counsel Ashish Bhan in the apex court where she accused her husband of being involved in pornography and adulterous relationship. The husband, while denying the allegations, maintained that Indian courts had no jurisdiction since a decree had already been passed by the Californian court.

Rejecting the husband's arguments, the apex court said "recognition of decrees and orders passed by foreign courts remains an eternal dilemma in as much as whenever called upon to do so, courts in this country are bound to determine the validity of such decrees and orders keeping in view the provisions of Section 13 of the Code of Criminal Procedure 1908 as amended by the Amendment Act of 1999 and 2002.

"The duty of a court exercising its Parens Patraie (legal guardian) jurisdiction as in cases involving custody of minor children is all the more onerous. Welfare of the minor in such cases being the paramount consideration, the court has to approach the issue regarding the validity and enforcement of a foreign decree or order carefully.

The bench hastened to add that it does not, however, mean that the order passed by a foreign court need not be considered by Indian courts.

"But it is one thing to consider the foreign judgement to be conclusive and another to treat it as a factor or consideration that would go into the making of a final decision.

"We must make it clear that no matter a court is exercising powers under the Guardian & Wards Act, it can choose to hold a summary inquiry into the matter and pass appropriate orders provided it is otherwise competent to entertain a petition for custody of the minor under Section 9(1) of the Act.

The apex court reiterated that in matters dealing with custodial rights, the interest of the minor should be paramount.

The bench said the interest of the minor shall be better served if he continued in the custody of his mother, especially when the father has contracted a second marriage and did not appear to be keen for having actual custody of the minor.

The apex court, however, minced no words in expressing displeasure at the conduct of the wife and her parents in poisoning the mind of the kid against their father.

"For a boy so young in years, these and other expressions suggesting a deep-rooted dislike for the father could arise only because of a constant hammering of negative feeling in him against his father. This approach and attitude on the part of the appellant or her parents can hardly be appreciated.

"What the appellant ought to appreciate is that feeding the minor with such dislike and despise for his father does not serve his interest or his growth as a normal child. It is important that the minor has his father¿s care and guidance, at this formative and impressionable stage of his life," the bench said.

The apex court said the father should be allowed to talk through telephone or video conference, "which too shall not only be permitted but encouraged by the appellant," Justice Thakur added.

http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/Indian-courts-can-decide-NRI-couples%5C-matrimonial-rows-SC/791624/

Hazards of FATHERLESSNESS-Single parenting-p7 news on KAYDA KANOON-10oct10

Hazards of FATHERLESSNESS-Single parenting-p7 news on KAYDA KANOON -10oct10

 

Part 1/2

 

 

 

 

 

Part 2/2

 

Men demand union ministry for their welfare, gender neutral laws, time-bound settlement of matrimonial cases and launch National Litigant Bench (NLB)

Men demand union ministry for their welfare, gender neutral laws, time-bound settlement of matrimonial cases and launch National Litigant Bench (NLB)

August 15th, 2010

Chennai, Aug 15 (IANS) Over 100 men’s rights activists who held two-day deliberations at Tamil Nadu’s Yercaud hill station have demanded a separate union ministry for men’s welfare and fast-track courts for deciding matrimonial cases.

The delegates at the conference also sought amendments to various laws to make them gender neutral and demanded time-bound settlement of matrimonial cases in courts.

Manoj David, an activist, told IANS: “The conference passed a resolution demanding the union government to form a separate ministry for men’s welfare.”

“The conference also passed a resolution demanding substitution of words husband/wife with spouse in all laws. We also want the words man or woman occurring in laws to be replaced with the word person,” he said.

According to him, the judiciary should decide all matrimonial cases within two years.

“In matrimonial cases, the youth and vitality of the disputing parties are also involved. Delaying such cases will affect their lives beyond repair. Hence, such cases have to be settled by courts in a time bound manner. Setting up of fast track courts to try matrimonial cases is our demand,” David said.

The conference also passed several other resolutions and saw the launch of the National Litigant Bench (NLB) to help litigants in knowing their rights so that they are protected from undue judicial delays.

Members belonging to around 22 NGOs from different parts of the country participated in the conference.

The members celebrated the country’s 64th Independence Day as sugarless, day drinking coffee and tea sans sugar.

The conference was organised by Bangalore-based Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF).

http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/uncategorized/men-demand-union-ministry-for-their-welfare_100412740.html

http://sify.com/news/men-demand-union-ministry-for-their-welfare-news-national-kipuacbbdbi.html

http://www.dailytimesindia.com/2010/08/151162.htm

http://www.vattal.com/news/men-demand-union-ministry-for-their-welfare/

http://www.google.co.in/search?q=Men+demand+union+ministry+for+their+welfare&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

A letter for child rights

A letter for child rights

Please find here below the letter issued by MISSION JUSTICE to concerned departments. Please take out print of the same and put a covering letter stating that you support the cause raised by us. I hope that atleast 10000 letters will reach the government and change will happen. I know an individual cannot make a change but atleast you can just send a letter for ensuring that your concerns are registered with concerned persons. HOPE that you will ensure that the voice of the common man like you and me is recognised.
9th August,2010
To,
Hon’ble Smt. Pratibha Patil,
President of India,
Rashtrapati Bhawan, New Delhi – 110 004
Hon’ble Shri Mohammad Hamid Ansari
Vice President of India,
Room No. 208, Parliament House Annexure,
New Delhi – 110 001
Hon’ble Dr. Manmohan Singh,
Prime Minister of India,
Room NO. 152, South Block,
New Delhi – 110 001
Hon’ble Mr. M. Veerappa Moily
Ministry of Law and Justice,
Room No. 402A,
Wing Shastri B,
New Delhi – 110 001
Hon’ble Shri Kapil Sibal
Ministry for Human Resource Development,
Room No. 301, C wing, Shastri Bhavan,
New Delhi – 110 001
Hon’ble Smt. Krishna Tirath
Ministry of Women and Child Right Development
Shastri Bhavan,
New Delhi – 110 001
Hon’ble Mr. Mukul Wasnik,
Ministry of Social Justice & Empowerment
Room No. 250, A wing, Shastri Bhawan,
New Delhi – 110 001
Respected Madam / Sir,

This is to bring to your notice, that in 1992, more particularly on 19.11.1992, we the Nation have ratified articles and resolution passed and convention on the Rights of the Child more particularly adopted by General Assembly of the United Nations bearing Ref. No. A/RES/44/25 of 20-11-1989. Thereafter in 2005 we have passed an Act, The Commission for protection of Child Rights Act 2005, appointing child right commission to look into the matter relating to child rights.

Under the said convention all the signatory Nations have assured international community that they shall be implementing the articles of the said convention and shall play role in improving condition of the children of their Nation. Under the convention members / signatory state parties were bound to implement the rights of the children and for the purpose of convenience we are not reproducing the same but putting the same by way of attachment to this letter. Attached herewith is the copy of the said Resolution of the Child Rights Convention.

However, it has been seen that apart from appointment of commission to look into the said rights, we have done nothing to recognize or implement the said rights as guaranteed by us before international community. The entire articles have been attached herewith but certain facts needs to be highlighted which I am high lighting point by point: -

1. It has been seen that divorce has become very predominant in this Nation. Under threat of penal consequences the child is handed to one party without access to the other and consent terms is filed thereof without considering the rights of the child. The Courts of law without application of mind and without going into details of the custody have been endorsing these Consent Terms making them officio functus. It is only the will, fancies and desire of the parents which are considered and the fundamental rights of the child is never looked into by the Hon’ble Courts of law. The Court rarely looks into the right of the child to be brought up by the best parent and with a right to have access to the other parent and other family members. No parent has a right to renounce his or her duty in favour of the spouse and if done, the same is illegal and against the rights of the child.

2. The child of a very tender age does not know his/her rights and cannot decide is his/her welfare. It is duty of the Courts/ Legislature/ Parent and society to protect rights of the child, as well as to look into the welfare of the child and if need be the same has to be reviewed from time to time. Whenever a right is granted, a corresponding and equal responsibility is caste upon the state and also the judiciary to protect the same. The failure to do so by the state amounts to non fulfillment of requirement of a welfare state and non execution of the same by Courts amount to non adherence of duty cast upon a judge. Thus the state and judge becomes guilty of non performance of duty towards the child.

3. When the custody is transferred upon divorce no merits about the welfare or rights of child is taken into consideration and/or reviewed and/or evaluated by Courts of law and it is only the dictate of the parents which is enforced upon the child. If welfare of the child is with the particular spouse, then it is right of child to have welfare enforced through the said parent and the parent has no right to transfer the said duty cast upon him/her to any other person including the other divorcee spouse. The Court must review whether the custody has been transferred out of negligence, neglect or by threat and/or force. However, the same is never done. This fact can easily be verified by undergoing various divorce decree passed by the Court situated in different parts of this country, as the divorce decree passed therein generally does not provide even a single reason as to why the child should be given in the custody of the particular parent. Thus the Courts have avoided Justice and are only adjudicating upon matters.

4. The child has a right to know about not only parents but also the extended family from both parents and has right to love, affection and care of the extended family, more particularly grand parents. However, the same right is brutally violated even before the Courts of law and also at the hands of the police and law mechanism. This is in violation of Article 5 of the said convention.

5. Article 3 of the said convention cast the responsibility of the state to ensure that the child gets such protection and care as is necessary for his or her well being, taking into account the rights and duties of his or her parents, legal guardians, or other individuals legally responsible for him or her, and, to this end, shall take all appropriate legislative and administrative measures. However, Legislature has failed to pass any act or establish any procedure or Courts for such matters. If a letter is recorded, the Child Right Commission will direct the same to be taken up by the parent ( as per convention there is no need of parent only to be concerned about the child and it is the duty of the state) u/s 6 of Hindu Minority and Guardianship Act. Thus the state fails to discharge its function as laid down in the articles.

6. Article 8 ensures that state shall respect the rights of the child to preserve its identity including nationality, name and family relations as recognized by law without lawful interference. However, today when the custody is transferred to the mother under gender biased laws like 498A and Domestic Violence under the threat of dire penal consequences, identity of that child is hijacked and child is deprived of the name and recognition of father. We have got substantial details of such children and it is prima facie evident that identity, names are being changed illegally and even the school and law in force aid such hijacking of the identity, which might lead the child to identity crises at a later stage in the life and same is also against the welfare of the child. Even the family Courts put very less or no weight to this aspect. When such hijacking of identity and identity crises is being created by one parent, the said parent is acting against the welfare of the child and in such cases the custody has to be transferred to the other parent unless it is proved that the same is against the interest of the child. Even if the welfare is equal then also the custody must be transferred from the parent who acts against the welfare of the child by hiding from the child the true identity and also depriving the child of the other parent and extended family as wrongdoer parent is guilty of murder / assault on the original identity of the child and violation of fundamental rights to life of the child and the said parent must be treated accordingly in law. It is today nothing but “legal terrorism” and apart from the spouse it is the child who is the victim of this terrorism and is an act of cruelty upon the child.

7. Article 9 states that parties must respect the rights of the child who is separated from one or both parents to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both the parents on regular basis. However, in practical the same is never maintained and the Courts take their own sweet time and do not understand gravity of situation and at times show least interest as the same is not found in the statutes in operation in the Nation and International Law is beyond the understanding of Law and Judiciary of many occasion. Infact the reality is that if a judge avoids granting access to one of the parents and lingers the issue then he/she is even guilty of violation of rights of the child and/or aiding the same. Thus, the child goes unheard for years together. Unless a precedent is set holding a judge guilty (may not be punished but atleast must be put on remarks), the Judiciary will not expedite these matters. We wish that higher Judiciary suo moto takes up this issue and takes this stand in a very quick manner.

8. Unless precedents with regard to violation of rights of the child against the violating parent and judge (who keeps such matters pending and fail to decide) is set, the child of this nation cannot be secure. Unless the future is secure all developments and growth is meaningless as it shows incapability of this Nation to honour international commitments, to act as a welfare state and also to protect the fundamental rights of the speechless children of the Nation. We expect that atleast some judge shall take suo moto action and shall dispose it as a landmark precedent with regard to rights and also the time frame in which it is decided.

With this we request you to look into this aspect of the voice of voiceless i.e. children, who are the future of this Nation and necessary measures / steps be taken with regard to protecting the interest of these children. We call upon the state to implement the said rights and also other rights by codifying all the children laws in one enactment of “FAMILY, WOMEN AND CHILD PROTECTION ACT” and also transfer all criminal and civil provision in one single piece of legislation with regard to the family and child.

We the NGO have legal resources and sound people, who understand the gravity of situation and are willing to assist Government in formulating right policy with regard to the child rights and extend our full cooperation. We look forward to the esteemed Judicial members to take up such causes suo moto as stated earlier and establish the rights immediately and we assure them to provide data or an example case immediately.

Thanking you in anticipation.
Yours truly,
SIDDHARTH MURARKA
Convener
Copy to:
1. Chief Justice of India
2. Chief Justice Bombay High Court
3. Chief Justice Calcutta High Court
4. Chief Justice Madras High Court
5. Chief Justice Delhi High Court
6. Smt. Sonia Rajiv Gandhi
Media, Other NGO, Public
Encl : A/A

 

drafted by Siddharth Murarka

http://themissionjustice.blogspot.com/2010/08/letter-for-child-rights.html

Child custody disputes: Whose interest is paramount?

 

By S Susheela Chinthamani

Disputes between spouses for the custody of their child is taking the form of a battle fought with vengeance inside and outside the court rooms.

In the midst of groups of fathers, mothers, lawyers and the judges — talking, screaming, shouting, listening and ordering — the children are seen hearing about their ‘paramount interest’ being discussed at length.
Someday, these children will look back and question what was their ‘paramount interest?’ Was it independent of the interest of the father, mother, lawyers or the judge? Why were they not allowed to enjoy their childhood and left to be unsafe? Was it not interference with their rights in the guise of protection of their ‘paramount interest?’ The troubling answer may make them lose respect for society, including their parents.

Each of the separated parents suffering from ‘parent  alienation syndrome’ tries to have exclusive custody of the child, highlighting how dangerous it is for the child to be with the other parent. Children are asked to tell lies, forced to write letters to judges about their unwillingness to go with the other parent, compelled to give their opinions about their choice of a parent, etc. The volition of the children are given more importance than their actual paramount interest.
The parent, having limited custody rights, tries to play the role of an ‘entertainment-provider’ for the child in order to attract the child. The children are compelled to pose for hectic photo and video sessions to collect evidence to be placed before the courts. They are lured by expensive gifts and foreign trips, excellent holidays provided by a parent as against the other with whom they have to stay, study, be disciplined and learn the hard lessons of life. Without giving much thought, the children often express their wish to stay with the ‘entertainment providers.’

Children are treated as joint properties and demand for shared parenting and equal rights is common. The situation is worse when both the parents are busy with their career goals and the children stay with care-takers or grandparents. Grandparents, who develop attachment to the young children, fight for custody through their children. Everyone is focusing on parenting rights — rights of parents, of father, of mother, sentiments of grandparents, duty of a judge, etc — brushing aside ‘the paramount interest of the child.’

The child’s rights over parents begins with its birth. No one, much less a parent, can curtail this right over the other parent. The child has a right not to choose between the parents, not to judge its parents. It has a right to live in its little world full of fun, play, enjoyment, studies and unobstructed growth, unmindful of the mutual dislike and hatred between the parents. No one has a right to trespass and encroach upon their rights. Who can compensate the mother’s sweet kiss, screams, scoldings, warnings or the father’s hugs, kicks, or shouts?

Subjects of dispute

Frequent shuttling of children between the parents under the directions of the court, repeated contempt petitions between the parents alleging ‘disobedience’ instill a sense of panic among the children who do understand that they are made the subjects of dispute between their parents, and that the fight was against each other through them.

Only in the absence of dispute between the parents can the child stay happily with one of the parents, understanding it as a family arrangement. Each disputing parent fails to understand the indispensable need of the contribution of the other for the welfare of the child.

They forget that they are the only ones standing together who can safeguard the paramount interest of the child. When one of them doubts the bonafide of the other and suspects that the other would not stick to the accepted terms, problems arise. It is in this scenario, that the role of courts becomes indispensable in giving a binding force for the arrangements regarding the custody rights between the disputing parents.

The legislature in its wisdom has left the solution uncovered in the statutes. Even the courts find it difficult to choose between the equally capable and responsible parents of the unfortunate children. Any order passed by the court irritates either of the parents. Judges are often called ‘pro-women’ or ‘anti-women’ or those addressing to please the gallery.

It is high time the parents move from their interest towards the paramount interest of the child. All that a parent has to consider without prejudice is “is the company of the other parent dangerous to my child?” Shared parenting is a misnomer. Parenting cannot be shared with any one much less with the other parent. Each parent plays a unique role in the life of a child.
Ultimately, both the parents need to understand that notwithstanding their relationship as husband and wife no longer being cordial or having come to an end, they continue to be a father and a mother for the child and no statute can change that status.
(The writer is an advocate at the Karnataka High Court)

http://www.deccanherald.com/content/78894/

CRISP (CHILD RIGHTS INITIATIVE FOR SHARE PARENTING) to Opt for Mother Teresa Home on Father's Day

CRISP to Opt for Mother Teresa Home on Father's Day

By Mandeep Puri

Deserted Fathers Favours Single Parenting

CHILD RIGHTS INITIATIVE FOR SHARE PARENTING (CRISP) in association with SAVE INDIAN FAMILY FOUNDATION (SIFF), whose members are deserted Fathers and elderly citizens will share their love and affection with the mentally retarded children at the Mother Teresa Home, Sector 23, Chandigarh, on the occasion of the Father's Day, here tomorrow.

These deserted fathers have lost faith in judiciary and are has been deprived off meeting their own blood. The members of the organisation have been seriously effects from the Parental Alienation of children due to single parenting in divorce/separation. They now favour single parenting. These deserted fathers are given limited hours of meeting their son/daughters by Indian Judiciary that too after fighting for years for their visitation rights.

Judicial & Governmental Apathy:

"The way justice is administered, the child is separated from the father (mostly) for years! One has to "apply" for "visitation"* that takes years to "grant" and even then for a paltry time. Innocent children suffer because parents are separating & fight for their egos! Our judicial mechanism has a deplorable understanding of child welfare based on biased and outdated social concepts. The father is a relegated to a mere "visitor", eliminating involvement in the child's life and just a "maintenance" paying ATM machine. It virtually condemns the child to an illegitimate. This is neither in the child's nor the family's interest and destroys the foundation for the future generation", said Mandeep Puri, the coordinator, Chandigarh Chapter.

"The organisation terms the judiciary as Anti-Child, Anti-Father and Anti-Family. Divorce/ Separation are between spouses. Not child and parent. This is common sense. There is no law requiring a normal father to keep away from his child, in divorce/ separation proceedings", Vikas Kapur, a member of the organisation.

Details:

Time: 2.30 PM ONWARDS

Date: June 19, 2010

Venue: Mother Teresa Home, Sector 23, Chandigarh

Mandeep Puri is a freelance writer who has been a Tribune crime reporter, business, sport, entertainment and municipal reporter. Contact Mandeep at his blog mandeeppuri.blogspot.com or at NewsBlaze

http://newsblaze.com/story/20100619072359mand.nb/topstory.html

Rights of a Father? A case of reverse gender discrimination?

“The Family Court system blatantly discriminates against fathers, heartlessly separates them from and prevents their access to their own biological children”, said the newly formed All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA).

As a sign of protest against the Family Court system, AIMWA organised a protest before the Family Courts on Friday at Chennai. Around fifty of its members were distributing pamphlets and campaigning against the system.

AIMWA is an organization formed to protect the constitutional and human rights of men. It fight against gender discrimination, ‘legal terrorism’ and every other form of abuse suffered by men.

M Antony Francis, coordinator, AIMWA told Law et al. News “Indian Family Courts have declared a war against fathers and are adopting every possible means to create a “Fatherless Society”. We concur with the recent observation of the Supreme Court of India that “the Hindu Marriage Act is breaking more families than uniting”. We would like to add that the worst sufferers of the Indian Family Court system are fathers and children”

He further added “Section 498A, framed to protect women from dowry harassment, has become a hot topic of discussion these days due to misuse. As per National Crime Bureau (NCRB), in the year 2007, 187540 people were arrested under Section 498A, of which, the offense could be proven only for 13247 people. 94% of those arrested were found innocent. As per NCRB, in the last ten years there has been a spurt in the incidence of suicide by married men. A law that was supposed to act instrumental in women empowerment and to enable them to speak against their abuse, looks like has today, become a curse for many a families”

“The modus operandi of the Family Courts includes depriving fathers of the right to love and care for their biological children and forcing fathers to pay huge sums of money to support children they are not allowed to see. The Family court system  encouraging false allegations of abuse to paint fathers as unfit parents” S Hariharan, General Manager of a Telecom Company, a divorcee himself in Chennai told Law et al. News.

Multiple legal battles by mothers eliminate biological fathers from their children’s lives, lamented another divorcee MP Kalaichelvan, a Civil Engineer.  He said that the present system  passes ex-parte orders based solely on the allegations made by a child’s mother..It also allow mothers to brazenly disobey visitation orders without legal repercussions to her. Sometimes biological fathers are labelled “kidnappers” for trying to make contact with their own children. Prolonging custody and visitation matters for years, thereby driving fathers into financial and emotional bankruptcy and forcing them to give up the desire to see their children, are the issues of concern to us,” he said.

In its memorandum to the Principal Sessions Judge VRamalingam, AIMWA has prayed “Special fast-track courts should be set up at the earliest to deal with custody issues. Exclusive, fully functioning Divisional Bench should be set up in all High Courts and Supreme Court to hear appeals in matters of child custody’’.

They also said when a person or couple approaches court for divorce, counseling of the parents by professional counselors should be given first priority and except in extreme cases of violence or unhealthy behavior by either partner, children should be given equal and meaningful access to both parents and grandparents on both sides.

The Memorandum further suggested that both parents should made financially responsible for the upbringing of child in proportion to their earnings and not based on demands made by either partner. If a partner prevents a child from having equal and meaningful contact with the other partner, they should be counseled first to understand the importance of equal parenting and the best interest of a child.

“If either partner repeatedly disobeys orders of equal access and meaningful contact with children, then the children should be placed in the full custody of the partner who will allow equal access to the other parent”, the participants demanded in their memorandum.

Rights of a Father? A case of reverse gender discrimination?

http://www.lawetalnews.com/NewsDetail.asp?newsid=1478

INVITATION FOR PRESS CONFERENCE ON 20 JUNE 2010 – FATHERS' DAY

INVITATION FOR PRESS CONFERENCE
ON 20 JUNE 2010 – FATHERS' DAY
@ 11:30 AM
@ NEWS & SERVICES SYNDICATE (NSS), HYDERGUDA
Subject: Fathers' Day becoming Fatherless Day
Fathers' Day is celebrated on the third Sunday of June every year, but for many children 20th June will be a Fatherless Day this year.
Every year more and more children are becoming fatherless thanks to the Family Courts which grant sole and total custody of children to mothers, with total disregard to the love and affection that fathers and children have towards each other.
Indian Family Courts appear to have declared a war against fathers and are adopting every possible means to create a "fatherless society" and to reduce men to mere ATM machines and sperm donors.
All India Men's Welfare Association (AIMWA) is conducting this Press Conference to convey the concerns of fathers separated from children and to send a message to their children that their fathers have not abandoned them, that their fathers love them, care for them and yearn to see them.
We request representatives of the print and electronic media to please attend the event in large numbers and be the voice of the fathers who want to reach out to their children.
Sincerely,
President
All India Men's Welfare Association (AIMWA)

Memorandum On the occasion of Fathers’ Day- Seeking justice for Fathers and Children separated due to marital discords

 

Memorandum On the occasion of Fathers’ Day

18th June, 2010

To

Sri Nisar Ahmad Kakru

Hon’ble Chief Justice

High Court of Andhra Pradesh

Subject: Seeking justice for Fathers and Children separated due to marital discords

Hon’ble Justice Kakru,

We seek your personal and valuable intervention in setting right the gross injustice being done to men and children in matters of matrimonial conflicts where custody of children is granted only to women, with total disregard to the love and affection that fathers and children have towards each other.

Fathers are denied custody as a rule rather than an exception. If at all visitation is ordered to fathers, it is limited to 30 min or 1 hour in a month contrary to the requirement of the UN resolution that no child should be denied access to either of the parents.

We are constrained to bring to your notice that Indian Family Courts appear to have declared a war against fathers and are adopting every possible means to create a “fatherless society” and to reduce men to mere ATM machines and sperm donors.

Family Courts have adopted the unhealthy practice of

• Depriving fathers of the right to love and care for their biological children.
• Forcing fathers to pay huge sums of money to support children they are not allowed to see.
• Encouraging false allegations of abuse to paint fathers as unfit parents.
• Permitting multiple legal battles to eliminate biological fathers from their children’s lives.
• Passing ex-parte orders based solely on the allegations made by a child’s mother.
• Allowing mothers to brazenly disobey visitation orders without legal repercussions to them.
• Allowing biological fathers to be labelled “kidnappers” for trying to make contact with their own children.
• Prolonging custody/visitation matters for years, thereby driving fathers into financial and emotional bankruptcy and forcing them to give up the desire to see their children.

Cases filed in Family Courts linger on indefinitely while wives enjoy full custody of children, interim maintenance and child support at the expense of husbands.

The attitude of the Family Courts in the matters of ordering child custody/visitation, maintenance and alimony is completely biased against husbands.

While there is much emphasis on a wife’s rights on husbands and children, no order is passed on the responsibilities of a wife towards herself and her matrimonial family. Husbands, on the other hand, are heaped with disproportionate responsibilities with no rights over their wives or children.

The brazenly anti-male mindset of Indian Family Courts is making it a crime to be born male in India. The continued onslaught on men and manhood is gradually destroying the faith of men on the system of marriage and societal values as a whole. As a result many men are being forced to commit suicide or shun marriage altogether paving the way for a fatherless society full of single mothers in the future.

We request the Hon’ble Chief Justice to ponder over these issues and contribute towards promoting a congenial atmosphere in the Family Courts for men, women and children.

On the occasion of Fathers’ Day, we wish to make the following demands:

Reforms in Mediation Counseling and Pleadings:

1. The presence of and pleadings by Advocates in the Family Court and mediation process should be eliminated as mandated by the Family Courts Act.
2. Persons who are professionally qualified and have a balanced perspective on family and society should be appointed as counsellors and mediators.
3. Counsellors and mediators should be adequately compensated fixing a rate of at least Rs. 20,000 per case, made payable by the spouses equally.
4. Mediators should be given exclusive powers to decide on dates and adjournments and should be required to conduct mediations and counselling throughout the year without holidays.
5. No in-camera and chamber proceedings should be held unless absolutely necessary and the purpose duly recorded in the Court register.

Perjury

1. Courts should order perjury and contempt proceedings in case of exaggerated statements and false allegations or affidavits related to employment, earnings, cruelty etc. when such allegations are proved to be false.
2. Spouses making false allegations should be punished under the appropriate sections of the Indian Penal Code.

Child Custody matters:

Family Courts should ensure that both parents are given equal custody of children irrespective of the accusations of either party (such as a mother being adulterous or a father being a drunkard). The practice of showing children for 30 minutes or 1 hour like a TV show to a father without providing him an opportunity to demonstrate his fatherly care and affection should be done away with. We strongly denounce the attitude of the Family Courts which consider children as the exclusive property of the wife and totally deny access to the husband and his family while passing interim and final orders.

We strongly condemn the belief of the Family Courts that the husband alone is bound to earn and maintain his wife and children, even though the wife is either earning or sufficiently qualified to earn.

The practice of passing orders for monetary compensation, should be done away with and instead, parents should be directed to share the responsibilities like buying medical insurance, pay the school fee, purchase clothes, books etc., for children based on their respective and combined financial capacities.

The following steps should be immediately taken by Family Courts across the country to uphold the rights of fathers and ensure the welfare of children:

• Special fast-track courts should be set up at the earliest to deal with custody issues.
• Exclusive, fully functioning Divisional Bench should be set up in all High Courts and Supreme Court to hear appeals in matters of child custody.
• When a person or couple approaches court for divorce, counseling of the parents by professional counselors should be given first priority.
• Except in extreme cases of violence or unhealthy behavior by either partner, children should be given equal and meaningful access to both parents and grandparents on both sides.
• Both parents should be given financial responsibility of the child proportionate to their earnings and not based on demands made by either partner.
• If a partner prevents a child from having equal and meaningful contact with the other partner, they should be counseled first to understand the importance of equal parenting and the best interest of a child.
• If either partner repeatedly disobeys orders of equal access and meaningful contact with children, then the children should be placed in the full custody of the partner who will allow equal access to the other parent.

We submit that our demands are just and reasonable and that the non-implementation of our demands will result in serious consequences to men, women, children, families and the society as a whole.

We enclose, herewith, the petitions signed by hundreds of fathers in the Family Courts in Hyderabad.

We look forward to your prompt intervention and necessary action in this regard.

Sincerely,

President

All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA)

CC:

1. Hon’ble Principal Judge

Family Court

City Civil Court, Hyderabad

2. Hon’ble Principal Judge

Family Court

City Civil Court, Secunderabad

3. Hon’ble Principal Judge

Family Court

Ranga Reddy Dist. Court, L.B. Nagar

4. Hon’ble Principal Judge

Family Court

Nampally, Hyderabad

Memorandum To Chief Justice of high court On the occasion of Fathers’ Day

P R E S S    R E L E A S E

Memorandum To chief justice of high court

On the occasion of Fathers’ Day

About National Family Harmony Society®: “National Family Harmony Society®” NFHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and “gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 14500 members all over India. To know more about us please visit www.family-harmony.org / www.498a.org.in.

NFHS has submitted a memorandum to Honorable Chief Justice of Karnataka, Shri P D Dinakaran seeking justice for Fathers and Children separated due to marital discords.

On the occasion of Fathers’ Day, NFHS makes the following demands:

Reforms in Mediation Counseling and Pleadings:

• The presence of and pleadings by Advocates in the Family Court and mediation process should be eliminated as mandated by the Family Courts Act.
• Persons who are professionally qualified and have a balanced perspective on family and society should be appointed as counsellors and mediators.
• Counsellors and mediators should be adequately compensated fixing a rate of at least Rs. 20,000 per case, made payable by the spouses equally.
• Mediators should be given exclusive powers to decide on dates and adjournments and should be required to conduct mediations and counselling throughout the year without holidays.
• No in-camera and chamber proceedings should be held unless absolutely necessary and the purpose duly recorded in the Court register.

Perjury

• Courts should order perjury and contempt proceedings in case of exaggerated statements and false allegations or affidavits related to employment, earnings, cruelty etc. when such allegations are proved to be false.
• Spouses making false allegations should be punished under the appropriate sections of the Indian Penal Code.

Child Custody matters:

Family Courts should ensure that both parents are given equal custody of children irrespective of the accusations of either party (such as a mother being adulterous or a father being a drunkard). The practice of showing children for 30 minutes or 1 hour like a TV show to a father without providing him an opportunity to demonstrate his fatherly care and affection should be done away with. We strongly denounce the attitude of the Family Courts which consider children as the exclusive property of the wife and totally deny access to the husband and his family while passing interim and final orders.

We strongly condemn the belief of the Family Courts that the husband alone is bound to earn and maintain his wife and children, even though the wife is either earning or sufficiently qualified to earn.

The practice of passing orders for monetary compensation, should be done away with and instead, parents should be directed to share the responsibilities like buying medical insurance, pay the school fee, purchase clothes, books etc., for children based on their respective and combined financial capacities.

The following steps should be immediately taken by Family Courts across the country to uphold the rights of fathers and ensure the welfare of children:

• Special fast-track courts should be set up at the earliest to deal with custody issues.
• Exclusive, fully functioning Divisional Bench should be set up in all High Courts and Supreme Court to hear appeals in matters of child custody.
• When a person or couple approaches court for divorce, counseling of the parents by professional counselors should be given first priority.
• Except in extreme cases of violence or unhealthy behavior by either partner, children should be given equal and meaningful access to both parents and grandparents on both sides.
• Both parents should be given financial responsibility of the child proportionate to their earnings and not based on demands made by either partner.
• If a partner prevents a child from having equal and meaningful contact with the other partner, they should be counseled first to understand the importance of equal parenting and the best interest of a child.

If either partner repeatedly disobeys orders of equal access and meaningful contact with children, then the children should be placed in the full custody of the partner who will allow equal access to the other parent.

Helpline operated by NFHS in Bangalore

• 9880141531, P Suresh, President, Family Harmony Society
• 9731569970, M Mahesh, General Secretary, Family Harmony Society

For more information please contact

P Suresh, President,                                                M Mahesh, General Secretary,

9880141531                                                          9731569970

You are also requested to visit

www.498a.org.in / www.family-harmony.org

“NATIONAL FATHERS DAY RALLY” on 19th June

 

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CHILDREN’S RIGHTS INITIATIVE FOR SHARED PARENTING (Regd. NGO)
----------------------------------------------------------
We the members of CRISP have organized a “NATIONAL FATHERS DAY RALLY” on 19th June
2010, to stop the creation of a fatherless society which coincides with fathers day which is celebrated
throughout the world to recognize and to honor the fathers for everything they are doing for the children
& express gratitude for their love, care and protection to their children.
-------------------------------------------------------
Details of the function:
Time : 10:00 AM to 1.30 PM
Venue : Mahatma Gandhi Statue, MG Road, Bangalore.
-------------------------------------------------------
CRISP is an NGO formed in 2008 at Bangalore by people who recognized the serious effects of
Parental Alienation of children due to single parenting in divorce/separation. Now we have chapters
throughout the country. CRISP speaks up for the Rights of Children to remain connected with and
enjoy the love of both the natural parents being divorced or separated. Our aims and objectives are
based on research findings. Our members come from all walks of life, like software engineers, doctors,
teachers, businessmen, social workers, etc. which includes women and senior citizens. All family roles
like grandparents, fathers, mothers, etc., are being represented. CRISP has charted a Pro-Family
agenda to promote family harmony in our society.
-------------------------------------------------------
Parental Alienation: Psychological Effects on the Child
-------------------------------------------------------
Parental alienation occurs when one parent estranges the children from the other parent for personal
vendetta. Children are brainwashed (used as pawns in divorce/ separation) by the dominant parent
against the non-custodial parent (usually fathers). This brings a lot of mental distress & trauma
to the child and the alienated parent and is particularly damaging to the child’s psychology and is
Child Abuse. Extensive psychological studies over decades collectively called “The Spectrum of Parental
Alienation Syndrome1” describe the detrimental effects on the child. In western countries, mainly U.S
and Europe, organizations (including medical, judicial & NGOs) have gone into the depths of this
and are trying hard to preserve families and save children. Unfortunately, our own country which
once prided possessing “family values” now needs to learn basic lessons from the west. Its a well known
fact that neglected children and children from broken families are more prone to take to crime. In
India, NOT even a single such study/ research has been done. There is a serious need to commit to
research and save children from this situation, which is completely being ignored. As a society,
we are largely ignorant of the effects.
Indian legal system and society at large is still based on a patriarchal mindset which considers fathers
incapable of nurturing children which is incorrect. Men are as capable as women to be caregivers
and bring up children in a normal way. Even if the woman (mother) assumes that the man is not
a good husband, it is out of place to say he is not also a good father for the children until there is
strong evidence against the father. Thus, women (mothers) need to understand that her animosity for
the husband & his family should be kept separate from the child’s need for his/her father and must
share the children with their estranged husband in the best interest of their children. After all, the
father if far better than strangers, servants, day-care and nannies!
----------------------------------------------------------
Judicial & Governmental Apathy: Anti-Child, Anti-Father & Anti-Family
----------------------------------------------------------
Divorce/ Separation is between spouses. Not child and parent. This is common sense. There is no law
requiring a normal father to keep away from his child, in divorce/ separation proceedings. On the
other hand, U.N’s Child Rights Convention (to which India also acceded about 20 years ago and
then did nothing about) requires the state (of which the Judicial systems are a part) to ensure that
the child does not suffer separation! However, the way justice is administered, the child is separated
from the father (mostly) for years! One has to “apply” for “visitation” that takes years to “grant”
and even then for a paltry time. Innocent children suffer because parents are separating & fight for
their egos! Our judicial mechanism has a deplorable understanding of child welfare based on biased
and outdated social concepts. The father is a relegated to a mere “visitor”, eliminating involvement
in the child’s life and just a “maintenance” paying ATM machine. It virtually condemns the child
to an illegitimate. This is neither in the child’s nor the family’s interest and destroys the foundation
for the future generation.
It’s a fact that even convicted criminals have better access to their children 2.That is the extent
of judicial apathy towards children and good fathers in family courts!
Our Family Laws and Courts are not only functioning insensitively in an anti-child, anti-father
and anti-family manner, but are also flouting U.N’s Child Rights Convention (CRC) and even the
Constitution of India3. Child’s rights cannot be subordinated to anything!
The Indian judiciary would do well to educate itself, provide training to judges and inculcate good
international practices in the family law systems. The judiciary must become more accountable,
transparent, improve the quality of justice and urgently implement extensive judicial reforms in right
earnest, if it wishes to be a credible and potent justice system.
Why is a Family institution needed in the first place? Family is the most fundamental building
block of society. It builds healthy human beings and healthy society. When family system breaks,
its leads to serious social consequences4 and surge in crime rates. A main contributor to teenage
pregnancies is broken families. It’s well known that children from broken homes are more prone
to crime.
In US, it has been found after extensive scientific research that children from broken families
without a father are:
14 times more likely to commit rape
5 times more likely to commit suicide
20 times more likely to end up in prison
10 times more likely to take drugs
32 times more likely to run away from home
20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
9 times more likely to drop out of school
9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution
From here it’s a short step to even more serious anti-national crimes like terrorism. Social upheaval/
instability are heavily exploited by anti-nationals and terrorists.
For a country like India, the breaking of the family system will be catastrophic to social well being and
economic growth. Even today, the government spends crores on internal security. People are spending
years in courts instead of engaging productively.
CRISP’s Achievements
Extensively campaigned to implement SHARED PARENTING. Currently engaging with the
government on this. In-fact, National Commission for Protection Of Child Rights (NCPCR),
Government of India appreciated CRISP for educating the society and legal fraternity on the
significance of Shared Parenting.
1. CRISP has created a national forum and made representations to the Chief Justice of India,
WCD Ministry and Law Commission to make Shared Parenting mandatory.
2. Over 2500 members strong and growing. Now CRISP has 7 chapters across the nation.
3. Mothers who have been deprived of child custody are also members of CRISP.
4. Some reputed women’s organizations are supporting CRISP’s efforts.
5. Engaging with leading medical professionals to provide quality counseling. This is to prevent
suicides of deprived and abused fathers like Syed Makhdoom who committed suicide and whose
child is now fatherless.
6. CRISP has conducted several workshops, seminars and press meets pertaining to children issues
and sensitized the society and successfully spread the message of shared parenting.
7. Many deprived parents have benefited from CRISP counseling and have successfully got orders
for weekends and 50% vacation custody of their children.
8. CRISP provides quality information through its website www.crisp-india.org. Thousands of victims
have made use of this information which is the first of its kind in the country.
CRISP’s Demands:
----------------
• Basic right of children to access both biological parents
• Implementation of UN’s Child Rights Convention and Hague’s Convention on Parental Child Abduction.
• Implement SHARED PARENTING / JOINT CUSTODY as a rule in separation and divorce cases.
• Setting up Special Guardian Courts in every major city
• Speedy and quality justice (within 3 months)
• Rational and Gender neutral Family Laws (including DV Act)
• Create a separate Child Welfare Ministry at the National Level and separate from WCD Ministry
• Laws against International Parental Child Abduction and Child Alienation
• Enroll organizations like NIMHANS to carry out research on Child Psychology of separated children. Laws to be framed based on scientific studies.
• Compulsory counseling to parent-litigants on Shared Parenting for child’s welfare.
• Ban child interviews of tender age children, who have not had adequate access with the noncustodial parent.
• Appoint psychologists/ child psychologists as mediators and to encourage shared parenting.
• Ban lawyers as mediators! They are suited for arbitration not mediation!
• Ban lawyers form Family Courts (implement the Family Court Act which discourages engaging
lawyers).Encourage party in person after giving adequate counseling.
• Grant visitation rights to grand parents who want to have access to the grandchildren.
• Harsh Punishment for Child Abusers including non-compliance of court orders concerning child
visitation.
• Punish people who misuse dowry & domestic violence act as a weapon to cut off the children
from the father.
• Make the domestic violence act gender neutral and also to protect the child from domestic violence
from even the mother.
We appeal & invite our media friends to kindly grace the occasion since media has a very important
role in educating the society on this highly sensitive subject of children who constitute 40% of the
population and not vote banks & ensure our children are saved from being fatherless since the divorce
rates in the cities are escalating and in Bangalore alone there are over 15000 cases pending.
Speakers for the press conference are:
---------------------------------------
Kumar V Jahgirdar President CRISP
Anil Kumar President Save Indian Family (NGO)
Roshni Mathan Teacher and Woman’s Rights Activist
Jayanth T.K Legal Counselor
CRISP’s is supported by the following NGOs and organizations:
SAVE INDIAN FAMILY
SUMANGALI SEVA ASHRAMA
FAMILY HARMONY SOCIETY
PURE (Mysore)
AIMPF, AIDPF
SOURCE:
1. The American Bar Association initiated a 12 year study by Dr. Richard Gardner and subsequently
carried forward by many others.
2. Francis Cora lie Mullin vs. The Administrator, Union Territory of Delhi, (1981) 2 SCR 516
(Justice P.N Bhagwati) which struck down Rule 559A of the Punjab Prison’s manual and allowed
a detune to see his/her child twice a week.
3. 1978 AIR 597 MANEKA GANDHI vs. Union of India: Article 21 of the Constitution enshrines
the right to life and liberty which includes right to a dignified life, free from social stigma, freedom
of movement. Article 39(e) & (f) protects a child from abuse!
4. U.S Department of Justice, National Criminal Justice Reference Service
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pubalp2.htm#csus
http://www.ncjrs.gov/app/Search/Abstracts.aspx?id=206316
KUMAR V JAHGIRDAR
President CRISP
Childrens Rights Initiative For Shared Parenting (CRISP)
(Regd. NGO) www.crisp-india.org (email: kvjahgirdar@yahoo.com)
# 78, Osborne Road, (Near Lake Side Hospital), Bangalore - 42, India.
Helpline No: +91 80 25593848, Mobile No: +91 98452 64488.

AIMWA to boycott family courts today

AIMWA to boycott family courts today

Staff Reporter

HYDERABAD: Members of All India Men's Welfare Association (AIMWA) have given a one-day boycott call of family courts on Friday, June 18, two days before the Father's Day, to protest against the family court system. The members on Wednesday alleged that family courts discriminate against fathers by separating them from having access to their biological children.

Uma Challa of AIMWA, while talking to media persons, said that family courts are forcing fathers to pay huge sums of money to support children with whom they are not allowed to meet. The family courts are encouraging false allegations of abuse to project fathers as unfit parents.

“Family courts allow mothers to disobey visitation orders without any legal repercussion.

The courts are prolonging custody and visitation matters for years, thereby driving fathers into financial and emotional bankruptcy,” she said.

The AIMWA members demanded that the family courts immediately recognise that denying access to one's own children is abuse of human rights and depriving children of the love and care of their biological fathers is abuse of basic rights of children. “We will hold protest meeting in front of the Nampally court on that day,” she said.

http://www.hindu.com/2010/06/18/stories/2010061861110700.htm

Men take up cudgels against prolonged court procedures

 

Men take up cudgels against prolonged court procedures

Meghana Chandra BANGALORE, June 18, 2010

In the run-up to Father's Day, the All India Men's Welfare Association (AIMWA), Hyderabad, has called for a nationwide boycott of the family courts on Friday as a sign of protest against the poor performance of family courts in India.

The agitation — being organised by groups in Hyderabad, Lucknow, Delhi, Chennai and Bangalore — is aimed at creating awareness of what they allege is the discrimination against fathers in custody cases.

Boycotting courts

Said P. Suresh, president, National Family Harmony Society (NFHS): “We want to boycott the courts to protest against the injustice done to fathers on a regular basis. Most divorce cases are prolonged, and judgments delivered years later.”

Speaking of his own situation, Mr. Suresh said his case, which began in 2006, hasn't reached the cross examination stage even after four years.

“I'm allowed to see my child every alternate Saturday for two hours: this is not a meaningful relationship with your child,” he said.

Child custody

The AIMWA and the NFHS and other organisations across the country are also submitting a petition to amend the procedure by which child custody cases are dealt with in family courts and members will not pay maintenance till their demands are met.

When asked to elaborate, Mr. Suresh said: “We will pay all expenses — including school fees and books — but we won't pay child support as this is a monetary provision that is consistently misused.”

Fast track courts

The NFHS is demanding that fast track courts be instituted to deal with custody cases, that a separate Divisional Bench be set up in the High Courts and Supreme Court to address appeals on custody matters, that the shared parenting concept be incorporated in judgments, and counsellors appointed in all child custody matters.

http://beta.thehindu.com/news/cities/Bangalore/article472014.ece

Fathers’ day – To celebrate for some lucky ones but to mourn for majority fathers

 

 

Father’s Day: Spare a thought to those suffering from legal battles over child custody

As usual, the doctor appeared quite confident of his success. And why wouldn’t he? One of the perks that came with a professional life that boasted of successfully handling thousands of such ‘critical’ cases over the last 10 years or more was confidence. Only the place and predicament were different this time. Standing firmly in the witness box, he was used to the public gaze that never unnerved him. But there was somebody sitting in the front row of the room, constantly staring at the him; quite discomforting for him. Finally, the judge delivers the verdict. The doctor has lost the case. Standing stunned for a few minutes, he suddenly turns into a picture of contrast.

Confidence gave way to anxiety; hands, which were always firm in wielding the scalpel, started trembling; eyes, which had never exhibited emotions, became moist. He collapses and breaks down in tears.
The ‘somebody’ sitting in the front row seat was his daughter. Dr Anand Parekh had not met Shruti for a year, and had been fighting for her custody since last six years.

Now, he has lost all—his daughter as well as interest in life. While the world will celebrate Father’s Day this Sunday, for many like Dr Parekh it will be a day to mourn. “What’s the point in being a father when you are deprived of your child,” said a devastated Dr Parekh. “Just because I didn’t give birth to her, doesn’t mean I can’t bring her up properly. A father can also be a mother.”
Fast-food culture, fast-paced life and fast disintegrating families — India has seen all in the last decade or so. The only two things that have not changed perhaps are the excruciatingly slow pace of justice, and a notion that man can’t play the role of a mother.
“It’s an old notion and goes back to the time when women didn’t have a professional life and took care of the family,” said S Susheela, a Bangalore-based advocate practising in the Karnataka High Court.
“So, it was thought that she could bring up the children in a more proper manner and spend more quality time with them. But now such a notion no longer holds true.” These days both the parents are working and can equally bring up the child, she adds. “For a child, both the parents are equally important and his/her isolation from either of them should be condemned.”
Most of the child custody battles in the country, unfortunately, have become a man versus woman fight, a fight in which the child is used as a pawn.

“We had a divorce by mutual consent and it was decided that my five-year-old son would stay with me. But after seven months, my wife files a case in the court saying that she is the natural guardian and court grants her permission to take away my son,” says Sunil Dabas, who works as a manager in one of the MNC banks in New Delhi.
“I used to bathe my little son, prepare his school lunch box, drop him to the school and play cricket with him every evening. And one fine day I am told that I can’t bring up my child properly because that can be done in a better way by a woman!,” says Sunil with a choked voice.

CRISP (Children’s rights initiative for shared parenting), a Bangalore-based NGO formed by parents, mostly fathers, fighting for the custody of their children, has been advocating the need for speedy justice and shared parenting. “My daughter was studying in 1st standard when I got separated from her.
Now she is in 10th and I am still fighting for her,” says Kumar V. Jahgirdar, founder of CRISP, who has been engaged in a legal battle with her former wife since 1999. “Can I get back those golden 10 years of my daughter’s life when she was growing up,” asks an aggrieved Kumar who still feels that he would get justice.

The tardy legal system has in fact turned India into a hot destination for NRI parents, especially mothers, escaping with their children as they know that Indian judicial system will take too long in deciding the case.
“There has been a dramatic jump in the number of such NRI cases,” says PBA Srinivasan, a New Delhi-based advocate practicing in the Supreme Court. “And the motive in most of such cases is either extracting money from the estranged partner or settling an ego battle.”

While the NRIs may be taking advantage of the legal system, millions in India have lost hope in the judiciary. “Lucky are those who are embedded in closely-bonded communities with well functioning and responsible biradari/jati (lineage/caste) panchayats because they do not need to depend on sarkari (state) courts to resolve their marital disputes and the future of their children,” said Madhu Kishwar, a human rights activist and professor at Centre for the Study of Developing Societies.

“If our judicial system can’t give justice to the Bhopal victims, do you think it can handle in a sensitive manner the fates of traumatised children who are at the centre of custody battles?”
Indeed, custody battles are not only about the hapless fathers who are deprived of the love and affection of their children and are at the receiving end of the judicial system.

It’s also about another silent victim — the child. In the US, it has been found after extensive scientific research that children from broken families without a father are: 14 times more likely to commit rape; 5 times more likely to commit suicide; 20 times more likely to end up in prison; 10 times more likely to take drugs; 32 times more likely to run away from home; 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders; 9 times more likely to drop out of school; 9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution.
However, in India no such studies have been conducted but the results of a fatherless society could be devastating. “Father is the epitome of security, authority and support,” says Dr Jayanti Dutta, a consultant clinical psychologist.

“And if the father is not there, for whatever reason, that sense of security is gone. A mother may take on paternal role along with the other roles that she is playing simultaneously. But there is likely to be a role conflict,” adds Dr Dutta. “Just by wearing a western outfit, a woman doesn’t become a man.”
Sandhya Bajaj, member, National Commission for Protection of Child Rights (NCPCR), says: “It’s ultimately the child who is the loser. As long as parents play dirty games against each other and use the child as a pawn to settle scores, no solution could be found.”

At the end of the day, it’s the children who pay the biggest price for the irresponsibility of their parents. “Very few people ask themselves whether they are really fit to be parents. They end up producing children simply because they are biologically capable and it is a thing to be done,” says Ms Kishwar.

“One should avoid producing children if one can’t provide them a stable secure family life.” A thought for the day, come Sunday

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/News/News-By-Industry/ET-Cetera/Fathers-Day-Spare-a-thought-to-those-suffering-from-legal-battles-over-child-custody/articleshow/6060577.cms?curpg=2