Saturday, June 19, 2010

Rights of a Father? A case of reverse gender discrimination?

“The Family Court system blatantly discriminates against fathers, heartlessly separates them from and prevents their access to their own biological children”, said the newly formed All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA).

As a sign of protest against the Family Court system, AIMWA organised a protest before the Family Courts on Friday at Chennai. Around fifty of its members were distributing pamphlets and campaigning against the system.

AIMWA is an organization formed to protect the constitutional and human rights of men. It fight against gender discrimination, ‘legal terrorism’ and every other form of abuse suffered by men.

M Antony Francis, coordinator, AIMWA told Law et al. News “Indian Family Courts have declared a war against fathers and are adopting every possible means to create a “Fatherless Society”. We concur with the recent observation of the Supreme Court of India that “the Hindu Marriage Act is breaking more families than uniting”. We would like to add that the worst sufferers of the Indian Family Court system are fathers and children”

He further added “Section 498A, framed to protect women from dowry harassment, has become a hot topic of discussion these days due to misuse. As per National Crime Bureau (NCRB), in the year 2007, 187540 people were arrested under Section 498A, of which, the offense could be proven only for 13247 people. 94% of those arrested were found innocent. As per NCRB, in the last ten years there has been a spurt in the incidence of suicide by married men. A law that was supposed to act instrumental in women empowerment and to enable them to speak against their abuse, looks like has today, become a curse for many a families”

“The modus operandi of the Family Courts includes depriving fathers of the right to love and care for their biological children and forcing fathers to pay huge sums of money to support children they are not allowed to see. The Family court system  encouraging false allegations of abuse to paint fathers as unfit parents” S Hariharan, General Manager of a Telecom Company, a divorcee himself in Chennai told Law et al. News.

Multiple legal battles by mothers eliminate biological fathers from their children’s lives, lamented another divorcee MP Kalaichelvan, a Civil Engineer.  He said that the present system  passes ex-parte orders based solely on the allegations made by a child’s mother..It also allow mothers to brazenly disobey visitation orders without legal repercussions to her. Sometimes biological fathers are labelled “kidnappers” for trying to make contact with their own children. Prolonging custody and visitation matters for years, thereby driving fathers into financial and emotional bankruptcy and forcing them to give up the desire to see their children, are the issues of concern to us,” he said.

In its memorandum to the Principal Sessions Judge VRamalingam, AIMWA has prayed “Special fast-track courts should be set up at the earliest to deal with custody issues. Exclusive, fully functioning Divisional Bench should be set up in all High Courts and Supreme Court to hear appeals in matters of child custody’’.

They also said when a person or couple approaches court for divorce, counseling of the parents by professional counselors should be given first priority and except in extreme cases of violence or unhealthy behavior by either partner, children should be given equal and meaningful access to both parents and grandparents on both sides.

The Memorandum further suggested that both parents should made financially responsible for the upbringing of child in proportion to their earnings and not based on demands made by either partner. If a partner prevents a child from having equal and meaningful contact with the other partner, they should be counseled first to understand the importance of equal parenting and the best interest of a child.

“If either partner repeatedly disobeys orders of equal access and meaningful contact with children, then the children should be placed in the full custody of the partner who will allow equal access to the other parent”, the participants demanded in their memorandum.

Rights of a Father? A case of reverse gender discrimination?

http://www.lawetalnews.com/NewsDetail.asp?newsid=1478

Innocent boy is incarcerated for false allegations of rape but the girl and her parents are let scot free

The innocent boy is incarcerated for false allegations of rape but the girl and her parents are let scot free for openly abusing the judicial process making false allegation and blatantly changing statement on record.

why was parents of the girl and girl herself not charged for perjury ????

MEN/Boys and their family members are treated like 3 rd class citizens in OUR DEMOCRATIC INDIA.

JAGO MEN JAGO AUR KAB TAK SOTEY RAHOGEY

Girl takes U-turn, says never wanted to marry the youth she eloped with

Apprehensive, 17-year-old Rashmi no longer wants to marry the man she loved and eloped with three months ago against her family’s wishes. Her turnaround came before the Delhi High Court on Friday, days after she told the Delhi Legal Services Authority (DLSA) counsel that she was in love with the youth and wished to marry him but feared her family.

On Thursday, when Justice Dhingra had come across the DLSA report forwarded by its counsel Kiran Singh, he had slammed the police for not being able to prevent honour killings. The court had accused the police of conniving with the families of couples instead of providing them security.

The story took a dramatic turn on Friday when the girl was produced from her house in Uttam Nagar and the youth was brought from Tihar, where he has been lodged under the charge of raping the girl. Rashmi, present in the court with her stepmother, denied that she ever wanted to marry him. She contended that she wanted to go to her real mother living in a village in Siddharthnagar, Uttar Pradesh. Rashmi told Justice Dhingra that all the facts in the DLSA report about her relationship with the youth were true but she never said she wanted to marry him despite being pregnant with his child.

 

Justice Dhingra noted that she was afraid as her real mother stayed in a remote village in UP and she was living with her father and stepmother in the city. “It is apparent that she was afraid and fearful for her safety,” noted the court while passing the order. The court then directed the police to ensure her safety during her stay at Uttam Nagar and escort her to her mother if she wanted.

“So long as she is living at the present address, the investigating officer shall visit the house of the girl once a day and ensure her safety. If she desires, the police shall provide her escort up to her mother’s village,” said Justice Dhingra.

Rashmi had eloped with the youth over three months ago. Her father had lodged an FIR under rape and criminal intimidation charges in March against the youth. He was subsequently arrested.

The youth stood motionless through the proceedings. Justice Dhingra, however, asked him to move a bail application before an appropriate court suggesting that the charges against him were fabricated.

“It seems to be more a case of love affair between two youths instead of a case of rape. The boy was living opposite the girl’s house. He had come from Rajasthan about three months ago. The girl also came to Delhi only recently,” the judge said in his order.

Justice Dhingra then disposed of the petition moved by advocate Singh seeking court’s intervention to help the couple. Singh had told the court that it was a case of elopement and the girl constantly feared for her life.

(names have been changed to protect identities)

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/girl-takes-uturn-says-never-wanted-to-marry-the-youth-she-eloped-with/635746/0

INVITATION FOR PRESS CONFERENCE ON 20 JUNE 2010 – FATHERS' DAY

INVITATION FOR PRESS CONFERENCE
ON 20 JUNE 2010 – FATHERS' DAY
@ 11:30 AM
@ NEWS & SERVICES SYNDICATE (NSS), HYDERGUDA
Subject: Fathers' Day becoming Fatherless Day
Fathers' Day is celebrated on the third Sunday of June every year, but for many children 20th June will be a Fatherless Day this year.
Every year more and more children are becoming fatherless thanks to the Family Courts which grant sole and total custody of children to mothers, with total disregard to the love and affection that fathers and children have towards each other.
Indian Family Courts appear to have declared a war against fathers and are adopting every possible means to create a "fatherless society" and to reduce men to mere ATM machines and sperm donors.
All India Men's Welfare Association (AIMWA) is conducting this Press Conference to convey the concerns of fathers separated from children and to send a message to their children that their fathers have not abandoned them, that their fathers love them, care for them and yearn to see them.
We request representatives of the print and electronic media to please attend the event in large numbers and be the voice of the fathers who want to reach out to their children.
Sincerely,
President
All India Men's Welfare Association (AIMWA)

Lickety split

 

Lickety split

In 2006, the Supreme Court found itself presented with a quandary: a messy divorce case that had worked its way up from the family court of Kanpur through the Allahabad high court. It was a typical appeal case, fraught with acrimony and confusion, detailing the turbulent relationship of Naveen and Neelu Kohli, married in 1975. But the landmark judgement it was to receive would prompt an overhaul of the Hindu Marriage Act and ease the path to divorce for millions of Indian couples.

The Kohlis had filed for divorce in 1994 and legal documents show details of a bitter and protracted battle involving police orders, claims of theft, cruelty, adultery and physical violence—all relatively common in Indian divorce courts. In Kanpur, the couple had been granted a divorce, but a successful appeal to the Allahabad high court had overturned that judgement. It was for the Supreme Court to settle the matter.

The judges’ exasperation as they attempted to decipher the details of the 20-year battle is clear from their case notes. Should they or should they not grant the estranged couple a divorce? Could they prove cruelty? Who was more to blame? As the issues were debated, it became apparent that the existing legal framework couldn’t encompass the complex realities the Kohlis faced. The law, as it stood, was too rigid for a society that was changing fast.

It wasn’t the only example of the system frustrating otherwise clear circumstances. In December, Smriti Shinde, daughter of Union minister Sushil Kumar Shinde, asked the Supreme Court for a divorce on grounds of “irretrievable breakdown of marriage”. Seeking to end her unhappy marriage and frustrated by her husband’s persistent refusal to a divorce by mutual consent, Shinde’s counsel argued that by not granting her a divorce the court was violating her constitutional right to live life with dignity.

In finally granting the Kohlis a divorce, the Supreme Court added a plea to the Union of India “to seriously consider” introducing a new ground for divorce into the Marriage Act: that of “irretrievable breakdown of marriage”. Indian courts have traditionally been wary of this ground, accepted in US and British law, fearing that it diminishes the sanctity of marriage vows, though there have been exceptions. In a 1971 case, Yousuf vs Sowramma, the judge made a poetic plea for more leniency. “There is no rose which has no thorns,” he said, “but if what you hold is all thorn and no rose, better throw it away. The ground for divorce is not conjugal guilt, but breakdown of marriage.” Still, throughout the 1980s and 1990s, judges continued to describe marriage as “made in heaven” and claimed that irretrievable breakdown was not a good enough reason for divorce. Over the last decade, their tone has changed.

“Once the marriage has broken beyond repair,” the judges concluded in the Kohli case, “it would be unrealistic for the law not to take notice... The marriage becomes a fiction, though supported by a legal tie. By refusing to sever that tie, the law does not serve the sanctity of marriage... it shows scant regard for the feelings and emotions of both parties.” Gradually, the way was being cleared for a new path to divorce; one which would be speedier, more even-handed and less humiliating for the unhappy couple.

Last week, a draft Bill from the Union government proposed amendments that would allow couples to cite “irretrievable breakdown of marriage” as a reason for divorce. India’s marriage law looks set to evolve, and there seems little political objection to the proposal. The Bill passed through the cabinet without debate, and the news has been greeted without much fanfare and fuss. In fact, the reaction to the amendment is a clue to its pertinence and evidence of a willingness on the part of the courts and the government to keep up with a changing society. Shinde could be among the beneficiaries of the new amendments.

It is no longer contentious to say that divorce is on the rise in India. Though the numbers remain modest (11 marriages per 1,000 end in divorce, compared with 400 in 1,000 in the US and 200 in 1,000 in China), the increase is sharp (in 1991, the figure was 7.41). Marriage counsellors, lawyers and psychologists overwhelmingly attest to the increase.

“Divorce is no longer a stigma, so people opt more readily for it,” says Suhail Dutt, a New Delhi-based divorce lawyer, who has been practising for 25 years. “Women are much less dependent on the husband for matrimony and alimony, so more mutual divorces are being sought.” With a new generation of working, economically independent couples, a divorce can take place without ruining the livelihood of either party. For the most part, these conditions exist only in the cities, however. It is much rarer for women living in rural areas to be financially independent.

With this in mind, the draft Bill makes provision for women without income. A woman can appeal to the courts, citing financial hardship, and the divorce will not be granted unless she is properly recompensed. The same applies to divorces in which children or dependent family members are involved; the court must be satisfied that they are being provided for. Even unmarried adult daughters are being taken into account.

Until now, couples wishing to split have had to choose between two unsatisfactory options. Either they can cite “matrimonial fault” (in which an allegation such as adultery, cruelty or insanity must be proved against one partner) or they can choose the “mutual consent” route (which can be delayed for years in court if either partner refuses to participate, wasting court time and leaving the loser stranded in legal limbo). “It’s time-consuming and it causes a further rift in any situation,” says Dutt of the current situation. But the narrowness of the choice offered to couples at the moment can also make a divorce needlessly acrimonious and humiliating for those involved.

Delhi high court lawyer Arun Khatri cites one case in which a girl from a traditional family decided to tie the knot without her parents’ consent. Two years into the marriage, she fell in love with a colleague and started dating him. She wanted a divorce but her husband would not consent. So she was compelled to file false charges of cruelty against him. Later she confided to her lawyer, “I had no ill feelings for my husband, but to seek (an) easy divorce, I had no option but to frame wrong charges against him.” Her story is not unique.

Shaifali Sandhya is a clinical psychologist and the author of Love Will Follow: Why the Indian Marriage is Burning, which, as the title suggests, takes a dim view of the state of Indian marriage today. Between 1996 and 2009, Sandhya interviewed 400 Indian couples about their marriages and made some surprising discoveries. First, the vast majority of divorces are instigated by women, Sandhya says. The contemporary stereotype of an Indian divorcee is one of a young, financially successful city dweller, who places little emphasis on religion and tradition and more on self-gratification. But Sandhya claims that portrayal can be misleading. “Divorce is not restricted to the youth; nor is it simply an urban phenomenon,” she writes, “it is also afflicting marriages beyond 10 years. Divorce, it is claimed, is the new accessory to marriage in India.”

The new law promises to address women’s rights issues within the divorce process. The combination of changing attitudes to female divorcees and increased financial independence is a potent one, and along with the changes to inheritance law in 2005, giving equal rights to all siblings, including sisters, heralds another stage in the progress of the women’s rights movement. Aruna Broota, a marriage counsellor and psychologist, sees shifting attitudes in family life and says the rise in women seeking divorce could be due to this. “Women do not passively tolerate undue treatment to the extent they did earlier,” she says. “The attitudes have changed over the decades. Not only economically independent working women, but also those from wealthy and affluent families do not take nonsense.” But Broota is cautious about overemphasizing the “progressive” society theory. “Sociocultural attitudes are still backward and conservative even in the most educated and affluent bracket,” she says.

Ajay Singh, research scholar at International Institute for the Population Sciences, Mumbai, agrees with Broota’s reasoning. “The major cause of divorce in urban India, particularly in metro cities, is the growing self-dependence of women,” he says. In 2002, Singh conducted a study of divorce in Mumbai for the institute and found that more women were taking the initiative to file for divorce. “Women are no longer submissive and cannot tolerate discriminatory behaviour,” Singh says, “and the fact that men are trapped in their stereotyped gender attitude means more and more discords in the home.”

In the case of divorce by mutual consent, the courts give the couple six months in which they may rethink their decision before moving on to finalize the divorce. This is the danger time, when one of the partners can hold the other hostage by “changing his (or her) mind” and blocking the divorce. It is most often men that use this tactic, says Broota. “Men are more practically oriented; they do not garner guilt about failed relationships or their role in them and are likely to withdraw from mutual consent proceedings to harass the wife. Men are possessive and unwilling to let the partner go. Many have gone to the extent of stating that they do not wish to incur the high expenses involved in remarriage, having once borne the cost.” Now, this kind of emotional blackmail will be impossible. One partner can get a divorce alone if they can prove a broken marriage and show a three-year separation period.

Not everyone predicts that the new law will make divorce an easy answer to marital strife. In researching her book, Sandhya found that most unhappy couples were choosing to stay married, especially if they were in their 40s or older. “With an apparently easier divorce option, we may see a spike in divorce,” she says, “but it may be due to the clearing of a backlog of cases. Most Indians are reluctant to divorce, choosing their own personal options of dealing with unhappy marriages, instead, by leading asexual lives and creating separate spheres of existence in one home.”

The personal stories in Sandhya’s book detail a depressing litany of intimidation, threats and emotional blackmail used against women. “And yet, despite the terrible bargain that divorce offers them,” says Sandhya, “80-85% of wives will initiate divorce.” Sandhya sees Indian women as inherently submissive. “In my 10 years of treating couples in therapy, I have seen Western women battle for the fulfilment of their wishes too, but the conforming to the family that has to accompany an Indian woman’s struggle, and their resilience, are particularly unique to our culture,” she writes.

Of course, not all Indian wives are victims—Broota gives plenty of examples where the woman has been equally at fault. In one instance, a woman who had applied for divorce under mutual consent, withdrew at the final hour citing suspicions that her husband was being unfaithful. A mutual friend had suggested he might be hiding an affair from her and she baulked at the idea of letting him off the hook. “If I sign this, he will get freedom by midnight,” Broota remembers her saying.

The proposed changes to the marriage Act will not mean the end of the road to reform. There are many aspects that the law ignores and plenty of details that have yet to be decided, including fairer division of assets and access to family property for the wife, not to mention the custody of children. Sandhya points out that without a truly equitable system, “the marriage malaise will continue and the recent divorce changes, in the face of grave and urgent societal need, will be only a cosmetic fix.”

Additionally, the changes are confined only to the Hindu Marriage Act and the Special Marriage Act, covering Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs and Jains, meaning other religions (most notably Christians and Muslims, who have the strictest divorce laws) will remain left out of the system. But the sheer pragmatism of the proposed amendments marks a crucial step forward by the government at a time when the need for a realistic solution to dealing with divorce is becoming urgent. As the judges concluded in the Kohli divorce case, “Nothing is gained by trying to keep the parties tied forever to a marriage that in fact has ceased to exist.”

Manish Ranjan contributed to this story.

cordelia.j@livemint.com

 

 

http://www.livemint.com/2010/06/18202607/Lickety-split.html

'Knot a bad idea'

 

'Knot a bad idea'

The government has made the process of getting a divorce easier by introducing ‘irretrievable breakdown of marriage’ as grounds for divorce. This allows consenting couples to obtain a divorce quicker. Pramila Nesargi, a divorce lawyer explains, “Irretrievable breakdown has long been accepted as grounds for divorce, the Law Commission and the Supreme Court has now recommended that it be added to the actual statute of the Hindu Marriage Act and the government has taken up the recommendation.”

While some have applauded this move as the law keeping up with the times, others have condemned it as aiding the breakdown of the institution of marriage

“With this development, people with problems in their marriage will give up because divorce is no longer a gruelling process that forces you to re-consider,” says Dr Anand Rao, a counsellor. “We are already witnessing a slow dilution of essential Indian values because everyone is keen on following the individualism of the West and this is just another strike against tradition.”

But Pramila Nesargi disagrees vehemently, “I really think it is too early to say that this will cause an increase in divorces. The situation is not fundamentally altered and I wish people would understand that sometimes there are genuine grounds for a divorce.”

Pramila J, a divorcee welcomes this move as pro-women, “When I was going through my divorce, it was horrible because my husband was unfaithful, but the courts harassed me. I had no support. So, if the process is made easier, then more unhappy women will have the courage to change their lives,” she says. She also thinks that the moral police misconstrue the truth to suit their purpose, “I noticed that women always get a raw deal in terms of financial settlements and how they are treated. I just wanted it to be over, but later realised how unfair the system was,” she says.

But Dr Rao says that it doesn’t have to come to this, “Courts should encourage couples to seek counselling. If people were given emotional literacy, they would be equipped to deal with marital issues.” Not so, according to Manisha Sanjay who is happily married, but knows of someone who went through a bitter divorce. “If the situation is unbearable to both parties, then it is just common sense to let them move on. Courts should not interfere in the private lives of people” she says. Neethi B, an RJ agrees, “I’m really glad the court has decided to keep up with the times. People should not continue in an unhappy marriage just to please others.”

According to Siddharth T, a student, “Instead of complaining about changes, we should help people make better choices.”

Pramila Nesargi has the last word, “It is a form of cruelty to keep people in limbo once they have taken a mutual decision. If we don’t force people to continue driving a broken down vehicle then it is silly to force people to stay married when they clearly don’t want to.”

http://www.deccanchronicle.com/tabloids/knot-bad-idea-447

Memorandum On the occasion of Fathers’ Day- Seeking justice for Fathers and Children separated due to marital discords

 

Memorandum On the occasion of Fathers’ Day

18th June, 2010

To

Sri Nisar Ahmad Kakru

Hon’ble Chief Justice

High Court of Andhra Pradesh

Subject: Seeking justice for Fathers and Children separated due to marital discords

Hon’ble Justice Kakru,

We seek your personal and valuable intervention in setting right the gross injustice being done to men and children in matters of matrimonial conflicts where custody of children is granted only to women, with total disregard to the love and affection that fathers and children have towards each other.

Fathers are denied custody as a rule rather than an exception. If at all visitation is ordered to fathers, it is limited to 30 min or 1 hour in a month contrary to the requirement of the UN resolution that no child should be denied access to either of the parents.

We are constrained to bring to your notice that Indian Family Courts appear to have declared a war against fathers and are adopting every possible means to create a “fatherless society” and to reduce men to mere ATM machines and sperm donors.

Family Courts have adopted the unhealthy practice of

  • Depriving fathers of the right to love and care for their biological children.
  • Forcing fathers to pay huge sums of money to support children they are not allowed to see.
  • Encouraging false allegations of abuse to paint fathers as unfit parents.
  • Permitting multiple legal battles to eliminate biological fathers from their children’s lives.
  • Passing ex-parte orders based solely on the allegations made by a child’s mother.
  • Allowing mothers to brazenly disobey visitation orders without legal repercussions to them.
  • Allowing biological fathers to be labelled “kidnappers” for trying to make contact with their own children.
  • Prolonging custody/visitation matters for years, thereby driving fathers into financial and emotional bankruptcy and forcing them to give up the desire to see their children.

Cases filed in Family Courts linger on indefinitely while wives enjoy full custody of children, interim maintenance and child support at the expense of husbands.

The attitude of the Family Courts in the matters of ordering child custody/visitation, maintenance and alimony is completely biased against husbands.

While there is much emphasis on a wife’s rights on husbands and children, no order is passed on the responsibilities of a wife towards herself and her matrimonial family. Husbands, on the other hand, are heaped with disproportionate responsibilities with no rights over their wives or children.

The brazenly anti-male mindset of Indian Family Courts is making it a crime to be born male in India. The continued onslaught on men and manhood is gradually destroying the faith of men on the system of marriage and societal values as a whole. As a result many men are being forced to commit suicide or shun marriage altogether paving the way for a fatherless society full of single mothers in the future.

We request the Hon’ble Chief Justice to ponder over these issues and contribute towards promoting a congenial atmosphere in the Family Courts for men, women and children.

On the occasion of Fathers’ Day, we wish to make the following demands:

Reforms in Mediation Counseling and Pleadings:

  1. The presence of and pleadings by Advocates in the Family Court and mediation process should be eliminated as mandated by the Family Courts Act.
  2. Persons who are professionally qualified and have a balanced perspective on family and society should be appointed as counsellors and mediators.
  3. Counsellors and mediators should be adequately compensated fixing a rate of at least Rs. 20,000 per case, made payable by the spouses equally.
  4. Mediators should be given exclusive powers to decide on dates and adjournments and should be required to conduct mediations and counselling throughout the year without holidays.
  5. No in-camera and chamber proceedings should be held unless absolutely necessary and the purpose duly recorded in the Court register.

Perjury

  1. Courts should order perjury and contempt proceedings in case of exaggerated statements and false allegations or affidavits related to employment, earnings, cruelty etc. when such allegations are proved to be false.
  2. Spouses making false allegations should be punished under the appropriate sections of the Indian Penal Code.

Child Custody matters:

Family Courts should ensure that both parents are given equal custody of children irrespective of the accusations of either party (such as a mother being adulterous or a father being a drunkard). The practice of showing children for 30 minutes or 1 hour like a TV show to a father without providing him an opportunity to demonstrate his fatherly care and affection should be done away with. We strongly denounce the attitude of the Family Courts which consider children as the exclusive property of the wife and totally deny access to the husband and his family while passing interim and final orders.

We strongly condemn the belief of the Family Courts that the husband alone is bound to earn and maintain his wife and children, even though the wife is either earning or sufficiently qualified to earn.

The practice of passing orders for monetary compensation, should be done away with and instead, parents should be directed to share the responsibilities like buying medical insurance, pay the school fee, purchase clothes, books etc., for children based on their respective and combined financial capacities.

The following steps should be immediately taken by Family Courts across the country to uphold the rights of fathers and ensure the welfare of children:

  • Special fast-track courts should be set up at the earliest to deal with custody issues.
  • Exclusive, fully functioning Divisional Bench should be set up in all High Courts and Supreme Court to hear appeals in matters of child custody.
  • When a person or couple approaches court for divorce, counseling of the parents by professional counselors should be given first priority.
  • Except in extreme cases of violence or unhealthy behavior by either partner, children should be given equal and meaningful access to both parents and grandparents on both sides.
  • Both parents should be given financial responsibility of the child proportionate to their earnings and not based on demands made by either partner.
  • If a partner prevents a child from having equal and meaningful contact with the other partner, they should be counseled first to understand the importance of equal parenting and the best interest of a child.
  • If either partner repeatedly disobeys orders of equal access and meaningful contact with children, then the children should be placed in the full custody of the partner who will allow equal access to the other parent.

We submit that our demands are just and reasonable and that the non-implementation of our demands will result in serious consequences to men, women, children, families and the society as a whole.

We enclose, herewith, the petitions signed by hundreds of fathers in the Family Courts in Hyderabad.

We look forward to your prompt intervention and necessary action in this regard.

Sincerely,

President

All India Men’s Welfare Association (AIMWA)

CC:

1. Hon’ble Principal Judge

    Family Court

    City Civil Court, Hyderabad

    2. Hon’ble Principal Judge

      Family Court

      City Civil Court, Secunderabad

      3. Hon’ble Principal Judge

        Family Court

        Ranga Reddy Dist. Court, L.B. Nagar

        4. Hon’ble Principal Judge

          Family Court

          Nampally, Hyderabad

          Memorandum To Chief Justice of high court On the occasion of Fathers’ Day

          P R E S S    R E L E A S E

          Memorandum To chief justice of high court

          On the occasion of Fathers’ Day

          About National Family Harmony Society®: “National Family Harmony Society® NFHS is a Non Governmental Organization (NGO) promoting the cause of “family harmony” and “gender equality”. It is registered under “The Karnataka Societies Registration Act, 1960” and is based in Bangalore. We have branches in more than 16 states and in abroad too. We have approximately 14500 members all over India. To know more about us please visit www.family-harmony.org / www.498a.org.in.

          NFHS has submitted a memorandum to Honorable Chief Justice of Karnataka, Shri P D Dinakaran seeking justice for Fathers and Children separated due to marital discords.

          On the occasion of Fathers’ Day, NFHS makes the following demands:

          Reforms in Mediation Counseling and Pleadings:

          • The presence of and pleadings by Advocates in the Family Court and mediation process should be eliminated as mandated by the Family Courts Act.
          • Persons who are professionally qualified and have a balanced perspective on family and society should be appointed as counsellors and mediators.
          • Counsellors and mediators should be adequately compensated fixing a rate of at least Rs. 20,000 per case, made payable by the spouses equally.
          • Mediators should be given exclusive powers to decide on dates and adjournments and should be required to conduct mediations and counselling throughout the year without holidays.
          • No in-camera and chamber proceedings should be held unless absolutely necessary and the purpose duly recorded in the Court register.

          Perjury

          • Courts should order perjury and contempt proceedings in case of exaggerated statements and false allegations or affidavits related to employment, earnings, cruelty etc. when such allegations are proved to be false.
          • Spouses making false allegations should be punished under the appropriate sections of the Indian Penal Code.

          Child Custody matters:

          Family Courts should ensure that both parents are given equal custody of children irrespective of the accusations of either party (such as a mother being adulterous or a father being a drunkard). The practice of showing children for 30 minutes or 1 hour like a TV show to a father without providing him an opportunity to demonstrate his fatherly care and affection should be done away with. We strongly denounce the attitude of the Family Courts which consider children as the exclusive property of the wife and totally deny access to the husband and his family while passing interim and final orders.

          We strongly condemn the belief of the Family Courts that the husband alone is bound to earn and maintain his wife and children, even though the wife is either earning or sufficiently qualified to earn.

          The practice of passing orders for monetary compensation, should be done away with and instead, parents should be directed to share the responsibilities like buying medical insurance, pay the school fee, purchase clothes, books etc., for children based on their respective and combined financial capacities.

          The following steps should be immediately taken by Family Courts across the country to uphold the rights of fathers and ensure the welfare of children:

          • Special fast-track courts should be set up at the earliest to deal with custody issues.
          • Exclusive, fully functioning Divisional Bench should be set up in all High Courts and Supreme Court to hear appeals in matters of child custody.
          • When a person or couple approaches court for divorce, counseling of the parents by professional counselors should be given first priority.
          • Except in extreme cases of violence or unhealthy behavior by either partner, children should be given equal and meaningful access to both parents and grandparents on both sides.
          • Both parents should be given financial responsibility of the child proportionate to their earnings and not based on demands made by either partner.
          • If a partner prevents a child from having equal and meaningful contact with the other partner, they should be counseled first to understand the importance of equal parenting and the best interest of a child.

          If either partner repeatedly disobeys orders of equal access and meaningful contact with children, then the children should be placed in the full custody of the partner who will allow equal access to the other parent.

          Helpline operated by NFHS in Bangalore

          • 9880141531, P Suresh, President, Family Harmony Society
          • 9731569970, M Mahesh, General Secretary, Family Harmony Society

          For more information please contact

          P Suresh, President,                                                M Mahesh, General Secretary,

          9880141531                                                          9731569970

          You are also requested to visit

          www.498a.org.in / www.family-harmony.org

          Quotes

          1. To laugh often and love much… to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one’s self… this is to have succeeded.~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
          2. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.- Aristotle
          3. You must be the change you want to see in the world. – Mahatma Gandhi
          4. Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.- Mahatma Gandhi
          5. Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.- Unknown
          6. Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.
            - Charles F. Kettering, Engineer and Inventor
          7. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.- Hugh Downs
          8. If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. – Marie Osmond
          9. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
          10. Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. – Sir Winston Churchill
          11. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. - Voltaire

          “NATIONAL FATHERS DAY RALLY” on 19th June

          “NATIONAL FATHERS DAY RALLY” on 19th June

           

          ---------------------------------------------------------
          CHILDREN’S RIGHTS INITIATIVE FOR SHARED PARENTING (Regd. NGO)
          ----------------------------------------------------------
          We the members of CRISP have organized a “NATIONAL FATHERS DAY RALLY” on 19th June
          2010, to stop the creation of a fatherless society which coincides with fathers day which is celebrated
          throughout the world to recognize and to honor the fathers for everything they are doing for the children
          & express gratitude for their love, care and protection to their children.
          -------------------------------------------------------
          Details of the function:
          Time : 10:00 AM to 1.30 PM
          Venue : Mahatma Gandhi Statue, MG Road, Bangalore.
          -------------------------------------------------------
          CRISP is an NGO formed in 2008 at Bangalore by people who recognized the serious effects of
          Parental Alienation of children due to single parenting in divorce/separation. Now we have chapters
          throughout the country. CRISP speaks up for the Rights of Children to remain connected with and
          enjoy the love of both the natural parents being divorced or separated. Our aims and objectives are
          based on research findings. Our members come from all walks of life, like software engineers, doctors,
          teachers, businessmen, social workers, etc. which includes women and senior citizens. All family roles
          like grandparents, fathers, mothers, etc., are being represented. CRISP has charted a Pro-Family
          agenda to promote family harmony in our society.
          -------------------------------------------------------
          Parental Alienation: Psychological Effects on the Child
          -------------------------------------------------------
          Parental alienation occurs when one parent estranges the children from the other parent for personal
          vendetta. Children are brainwashed (used as pawns in divorce/ separation) by the dominant parent
          against the non-custodial parent (usually fathers). This brings a lot of mental distress & trauma
          to the child and the alienated parent and is particularly damaging to the child’s psychology and is
          Child Abuse. Extensive psychological studies over decades collectively called “The Spectrum of Parental
          Alienation Syndrome1” describe the detrimental effects on the child. In western countries, mainly U.S
          and Europe, organizations (including medical, judicial & NGOs) have gone into the depths of this
          and are trying hard to preserve families and save children. Unfortunately, our own country which
          once prided possessing “family values” now needs to learn basic lessons from the west. Its a well known
          fact that neglected children and children from broken families are more prone to take to crime. In
          India, NOT even a single such study/ research has been done. There is a serious need to commit to
          research and save children from this situation, which is completely being ignored. As a society,
          we are largely ignorant of the effects.
          Indian legal system and society at large is still based on a patriarchal mindset which considers fathers
          incapable of nurturing children which is incorrect. Men are as capable as women to be caregivers
          and bring up children in a normal way. Even if the woman (mother) assumes that the man is not
          a good husband, it is out of place to say he is not also a good father for the children until there is
          strong evidence against the father. Thus, women (mothers) need to understand that her animosity for
          the husband & his family should be kept separate from the child’s need for his/her father and must
          share the children with their estranged husband in the best interest of their children. After all, the
          father if far better than strangers, servants, day-care and nannies!
          ----------------------------------------------------------
          Judicial & Governmental Apathy: Anti-Child, Anti-Father & Anti-Family
          ----------------------------------------------------------
          Divorce/ Separation is between spouses. Not child and parent. This is common sense. There is no law
          requiring a normal father to keep away from his child, in divorce/ separation proceedings. On the
          other hand, U.N’s Child Rights Convention (to which India also acceded about 20 years ago and
          then did nothing about) requires the state (of which the Judicial systems are a part) to ensure that
          the child does not suffer separation! However, the way justice is administered, the child is separated
          from the father (mostly) for years! One has to “apply” for “visitation” that takes years to “grant”
          and even then for a paltry time. Innocent children suffer because parents are separating & fight for
          their egos! Our judicial mechanism has a deplorable understanding of child welfare based on biased
          and outdated social concepts. The father is a relegated to a mere “visitor”, eliminating involvement
          in the child’s life and just a “maintenance” paying ATM machine. It virtually condemns the child
          to an illegitimate. This is neither in the child’s nor the family’s interest and destroys the foundation
          for the future generation.
          It’s a fact that even convicted criminals have better access to their children 2.That is the extent
          of judicial apathy towards children and good fathers in family courts!
          Our Family Laws and Courts are not only functioning insensitively in an anti-child, anti-father
          and anti-family manner, but are also flouting U.N’s Child Rights Convention (CRC) and even the
          Constitution of India3. Child’s rights cannot be subordinated to anything!
          The Indian judiciary would do well to educate itself, provide training to judges and inculcate good
          international practices in the family law systems. The judiciary must become more accountable,
          transparent, improve the quality of justice and urgently implement extensive judicial reforms in right
          earnest, if it wishes to be a credible and potent justice system.
          Why is a Family institution needed in the first place? Family is the most fundamental building
          block of society. It builds healthy human beings and healthy society. When family system breaks,
          its leads to serious social consequences4 and surge in crime rates. A main contributor to teenage
          pregnancies is broken families. It’s well known that children from broken homes are more prone
          to crime.
          In US, it has been found after extensive scientific research that children from broken families
          without a father are:
          14 times more likely to commit rape
          5 times more likely to commit suicide
          20 times more likely to end up in prison
          10 times more likely to take drugs
          32 times more likely to run away from home
          20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
          9 times more likely to drop out of school
          9 times more likely to end up in a state operated institution
          From here it’s a short step to even more serious anti-national crimes like terrorism. Social upheaval/
          instability are heavily exploited by anti-nationals and terrorists.
          For a country like India, the breaking of the family system will be catastrophic to social well being and
          economic growth. Even today, the government spends crores on internal security. People are spending
          years in courts instead of engaging productively.
          CRISP’s Achievements
          Extensively campaigned to implement SHARED PARENTING. Currently engaging with the
          government on this. In-fact, National Commission for Protection Of Child Rights (NCPCR),
          Government of India appreciated CRISP for educating the society and legal fraternity on the
          significance of Shared Parenting.
          1. CRISP has created a national forum and made representations to the Chief Justice of India,
          WCD Ministry and Law Commission to make Shared Parenting mandatory.
          2. Over 2500 members strong and growing. Now CRISP has 7 chapters across the nation.
          3. Mothers who have been deprived of child custody are also members of CRISP.
          4. Some reputed women’s organizations are supporting CRISP’s efforts.
          5. Engaging with leading medical professionals to provide quality counseling. This is to prevent
          suicides of deprived and abused fathers like Syed Makhdoom who committed suicide and whose
          child is now fatherless.
          6. CRISP has conducted several workshops, seminars and press meets pertaining to children issues
          and sensitized the society and successfully spread the message of shared parenting.
          7. Many deprived parents have benefited from CRISP counseling and have successfully got orders
          for weekends and 50% vacation custody of their children.
          8. CRISP provides quality information through its website www.crisp-india.org. Thousands of victims
          have made use of this information which is the first of its kind in the country.
          CRISP’s Demands:
          ----------------
          • Basic right of children to access both biological parents
          • Implementation of UN’s Child Rights Convention and Hague’s Convention on Parental Child Abduction.
          • Implement SHARED PARENTING / JOINT CUSTODY as a rule in separation and divorce cases.
          • Setting up Special Guardian Courts in every major city
          • Speedy and quality justice (within 3 months)
          • Rational and Gender neutral Family Laws (including DV Act)
          • Create a separate Child Welfare Ministry at the National Level and separate from WCD Ministry
          • Laws against International Parental Child Abduction and Child Alienation
          • Enroll organizations like NIMHANS to carry out research on Child Psychology of separated children. Laws to be framed based on scientific studies.
          • Compulsory counseling to parent-litigants on Shared Parenting for child’s welfare.
          • Ban child interviews of tender age children, who have not had adequate access with the noncustodial parent.
          • Appoint psychologists/ child psychologists as mediators and to encourage shared parenting.
          • Ban lawyers as mediators! They are suited for arbitration not mediation!
          • Ban lawyers form Family Courts (implement the Family Court Act which discourages engaging
          lawyers).Encourage party in person after giving adequate counseling.
          • Grant visitation rights to grand parents who want to have access to the grandchildren.
          • Harsh Punishment for Child Abusers including non-compliance of court orders concerning child
          visitation.
          • Punish people who misuse dowry & domestic violence act as a weapon to cut off the children
          from the father.
          • Make the domestic violence act gender neutral and also to protect the child from domestic violence
          from even the mother.
          We appeal & invite our media friends to kindly grace the occasion since media has a very important
          role in educating the society on this highly sensitive subject of children who constitute 40% of the
          population and not vote banks & ensure our children are saved from being fatherless since the divorce
          rates in the cities are escalating and in Bangalore alone there are over 15000 cases pending.
          Speakers for the press conference are:
          ---------------------------------------
          Kumar V Jahgirdar President CRISP
          Anil Kumar President Save Indian Family (NGO)
          Roshni Mathan Teacher and Woman’s Rights Activist
          Jayanth T.K Legal Counselor
          CRISP’s is supported by the following NGOs and organizations:
          SAVE INDIAN FAMILY
          SUMANGALI SEVA ASHRAMA
          FAMILY HARMONY SOCIETY
          PURE (Mysore)
          AIMPF, AIDPF
          SOURCE:
          1. The American Bar Association initiated a 12 year study by Dr. Richard Gardner and subsequently
          carried forward by many others.
          2. Francis Cora lie Mullin vs. The Administrator, Union Territory of Delhi, (1981) 2 SCR 516
          (Justice P.N Bhagwati) which struck down Rule 559A of the Punjab Prison’s manual and allowed
          a detune to see his/her child twice a week.
          3. 1978 AIR 597 MANEKA GANDHI vs. Union of India: Article 21 of the Constitution enshrines
          the right to life and liberty which includes right to a dignified life, free from social stigma, freedom
          of movement. Article 39(e) & (f) protects a child from abuse!
          4. U.S Department of Justice, National Criminal Justice Reference Service
          http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pubalp2.htm#csus
          http://www.ncjrs.gov/app/Search/Abstracts.aspx?id=206316
          KUMAR V JAHGIRDAR
          President CRISP
          Childrens Rights Initiative For Shared Parenting (CRISP)
          (Regd. NGO) www.crisp-india.org (email: kvjahgirdar@yahoo.com)
          # 78, Osborne Road, (Near Lake Side Hospital), Bangalore - 42, India.
          Helpline No: +91 80 25593848, Mobile No: +91 98452 64488.

          Family, advocate under scanner for threatening girl

          Family, advocate under scanner for threatening girl

          New Delhi: Delhi court has sought a probe into the role of a girl's family members, an advocate and a police officer for allegedly extending threat to her for marrying her boyfriend against the wishes of her family.
          Vacation Judge Kamini Lau expressed concern over the role of the advocate who allegedly advised her parents to kill her for the sake of family's honour.
          "What has shocked me the most is the fact that in her statement made today the girl, who is prima facie a major as on date, not only alleged that her life is in danger... It is alleged that this lawyer had advised her parents to kill her as she had given a bad name to their family," the court said.

          Girl fearing honour killing gets protection

          The court had earlier directed the police to trace the girl who had gone missing a few days after marrying her boyfriend even though she was in the custody of her parents.
          Chanchal Sharma, who herself appeared before the court along with her husband Gaurav Sharma, today made the allegations against the Investigating Officer (IO), the lawyer and her parents.
          The matter also came up before Delhi High Court's Vacation Bench of Justice S N Dhingra as a reference was made by the trial court to it.
          The High Court directed the police to produce the girl before it on June 21 if they are not able to trace her till June 19 as directed by the trial court.

          Women's rights panel seeks report on Delhi honour killings

          During the proceedings before the trial court, the girl alleged the IO had threatened her that she would be sent to jail if she did not go to her parents' place.
          "This deadly combination of the men in uniform i.e. police and advocate is a matter of serious concern for the society," the court said.
          "Recently, there has been a spate of cases where young couples who eloped and married against the wishes of their families, have been brutally killed. Such acts and tendencies can neither be glorified nor encouraged, being against the norms of any civilized society and under no circumstances, those who are responsible for implementation of laws can be permitted to be a party to the same," the court added.

          http://sify.com/news/family-advocate-under-scanner-for-threatening-girl-news-cities-kgsuN0fidfa.html