Divorce outstrips marriage
In its latest report, the International Institute of Statistics has revealed that, the world over, the divorce rate has overtaken the marriage rate. A spokesperson of the institute, herself a divorcee, said: "While marriage has always been in fashion, today it is more so than ever; people want to get married not just once but multiple times in the belief that the more the merrier where matrimony is concerned. Since bigamy is against the law, serial matrimony also involves serial divorce."
The spokesperson added that divorce had become the latest thing in trendy chic, so much so that even unmarried people were seeking divorces, presumably from themselves.
The reason for this seems to be that being a divorcee was seen to confer social status on the person and make that person more attractive to suitors.
"It's like applying for a job," said a spokesperson for DIVA, Divorce International Vocational Association. "When you're a first-time job seeker, it's tough to get one. Prospective employers naturally want to know what experience you've had. And when you confess that you have none, nobody wants to know. However, once you have managed to get that first job, the second, third, fourth and fifth jobs are easy. In fact, you don't have to get them; they'll come and get you, through headhunters."
The spokesperson explained that the situation was similar in the case of matrimony, which could be compared to a live-in job, with no extra overtime. "These days, there are few takers for first-time marriage partners. But once you've got a divorce or two on your CV, the line-up for you goes round the block," said the DIVA representative.
With career divorce catching on, a booming new industry has sprung up comprising not just lawyers and alimony experts but also garment manufacturers who specialise in drip-dry wedding saris and eco-friendly recyclable red safas for bridegrooms. Similarly, caterers are cashing in as well what with divorce parties becoming even more popular than wedding parties. The travel trade has also benefited as people go on separate divorcemoons rather than joint honeymoons.
Indeed, so popular has the big fat Indian divorce become, that the Doyenne of Divorce, Liz Taylor, is planning to come to India to get divorced according to traditional Vedic rites, with Sri Sri Savvy Shankar - the celebrated guru of the Art of Splitting - officiating as pundit.
As no one - including Ms Taylor - could remember if the Hollywood star was at the current time in between marriages or in between divorces, it was thought best to employ what in the movie business is known as a body-double. The use of a double - or a stand-in - would legitimately enable Ms Taylor to divorce herself from herself.
Or, as Sri Sri Savvy Shankar once summed up his Art of Splitting: Ek ticket, doh mazaa.